16+ Mature Content

She treats me through the night (blues)

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.

I gotta woman
Way outta town
An' I've been workin'
so hard I could've drowned
I gotta woman
An' she ain't in town
Been working
more than was allowed.


But when I come home we never fight
she treats me fine through the night

I gotta woman
an' she ain't around
I work from morn' till morrow
with sweat on my brow
I gotta woman
An' she loves me right
Motivates to work through the night

When I come home we never fight
Co's she'll treat me through the night

[guitar solo]

I gotta woman
Way outta town
I've been working to get her
a nice gown
I gotta lady
You won't see around
I've been making that money
To make my honey proud.


And When I come home we never fight
My lady she'll
Treat me through the night.
_________________________________________

Not the "bluest" blues out there and probably more upbeat than most of my recent songs, but It came to my head and I had to write it down. 

Comments & reviews · 3
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Hi, J here for a review.
I'm a big fan of country music so when I saw this in the green room I knew I should review it.
So I read it and I loved it, you have TALENT which is something I'm not sure Nashville looks for anymore. Legacy pointed out a awkward part in the song and I found nothing else to hate on. I want to here this someday on my country playlists.

Good Job and Keep Writing!!

User avatar
papillote
Comment

Hi,
I can't help it. When I read the first two lines, I think about Ray Charles' "I've got a woman".

« Well, I've got a woman
Way over town »

User avatar
Thisislegacy
Review

Legacy here for a review.

This sounds good. You have your rhyme scheme set up nicely and your verses set up perfectly (in my opinion).

"I've been working to get her/ a nice gown" is the only awkward part of the song because there isn't enough syllables in the "a nice gown" part. I would recommend adding a small word (about 2 syllables) to help the flow some more.

Nice song, only a little bit of editing needed. I would love to hear this sung and with the music behind it. Could you let me know if that ever happens. Legacy.



That's how we should measure our lives. Not in distance traveled, or time passed, or worlds conquered, but in moments... and the rush of joy—of grace—that exists within them.
— Megatron (Lost Light, by Roberts, Lawrence, Lafuente)